want coffee. no, need coffee. require coffee. why are the veins on my arms so profound? why do I look like I inject heroin on a regular basis? caffeine headache, due to lack thereof. ouch. my nose is blocked. damn sinuses, terrorising my life. my calf hurts. why? i have done no exercise for the past two-three weeks or so. what have I done for the past couple of weeks exactly? can't remember. such numbness. fuck. my calf hurts from wearing high heels. but they're so much nicer than flat shoes. they make the muscles in my leg look pretty, even though they are causing irrevocable damage. want a glass of red wine. always want red wine. always want to feel warm and slightly dizzy. dislike feeling grounded and realistic. i think it's time to read the bell jar again.
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